Reflections on Month #1

It has been 4 weeks since I began home schooling and I though I'd post some honest reflections about it...

Surprisingly, I am really enjoying it!  I like being the one who decides what my son will learn and protecting the influences in his life.  He and I have always been close, but I feel like we've grown closer this month as we've figured out this home schooling thing together.

In the beginning, I didn't give him enough work to do.  I didn't think I was setting the bar low, seeing as I was moving much more quickly than he ever had in school.  However, what I realized is that he honestly wanted to learn.  The passion, desire, and hunger for knowledge, wisdom, and understanding that is deeply rooted in me is at his core as well.  Perhaps I underestimated the young Jedi...perhaps I underestimate more people than I realize?

When God looks at us He sees His creation and He knows our potential because He gifted each one of us specifically for His purpose.  My Pastor says that when God looks at us He sees a perfect 10 because He see's us through the filter of His Son, Jesus.  I think I've underestimated myself.

I didn't think I could do this, any of this:
Home school, get a Masters, heck - even be a good parent.  These were all things I'm genuinely surprised that I am able to do, but God isn't surprised one bit.

I journal everyday.  Every single day.  I cannot live without writing and I don't know why because it's only a recent discovery.  Honestly, my journal is a sloppy mess and it's certainly not in the American Psychological Associate (APA) format and it's safe sitting beside my bed because it's entirely indecipherable.  One of the reasons I like to journal is so I can see where I've been and how God has answered not only my prayers, but has blessed me beyond what I even knew was possible months or years after I cried out to Him.

As it hit me today that this was the one-month mark of home schooling, I flipped back to read what I wrote in my journal as I was preparing to start being a teacher.  I'll admit, it wasn't pretty.  That week I had two papers to write for my own school too.  I'll share an excerpt with you...I was praying through Proverbs 2:

"Please Lord God, I turn my ear towards wisdom and I'm applying my heart to understanding, but I'm getting burned out.  I need you in every single area of my life.  I'm calling out for insight, crying out for understanding, looking for it as for silver and searching for it as for hidden treasure.  Please, help me to find what I'm looking for - a greater knowledge and understanding of you Lord Jesus."

I remember clinging to the Lord that week knowing that I could not do this alone.   Here I am a month later and I cannot say He's opened my eyes to vast wisdom and understanding, but I have experienced a peace that transcends all understanding (Phil 4:7).  I don't feel any smarter or better equipped, but I've made it a month.  I didn't make it by the skin of my teeth, hanging by a thread, or by any other cliche.  I can almost say I've thrived. 

God didn't underestimate me when He called me to all of this.  

If He didn't underestimate His child, why would I underestimate mine?  

Watch out young Jedi, God has high hopes for both of us!